hi, my name is spice. what's yours?

two or three of you know me...er...uh knew me...

remember? i dragged you kicking and screaming through a history, preview and review of every stage of a half dozen-ish tours de france...you didn't want to try it at first? you had never heard of it? it looked and smelled funny and you couldn't pronounce the names????ventoux???hautacam???hinault???anquetil???merckx??indurain? remember?

but remember then? amember when you got used to the taste when that know it all jack ass at the water cooler said- hey, how about that armstrong guy he is great. huh!?- and you rattled off all sorts of goody about everything from his training schedule to his heart rate??
you compared his performance on mont ventoux to his climb of hautacam??
you had the g.o.a.t discussion, all day long, with yourself because all mr. know it all could say was-um yeah, you know he had cancer???
not only did you get used to it, you loved it.
when you stayed up till 4am to hear the streaming bbc broadcast of the final mountain stage...
man did the spice taste good that day...
remember that?

amember the time i pissed you off? remember...when i informed you that mean nasty Rival State was gonna beat the snot out of good ol' Alumni U? remember that? boy oh boy you hated me that time...you even refused to finish me. even if it meant no dessert. you were like -this sucks. i don't want it grrr grrr grr blah blah blah...im giving mine to the dog- Remember? And remember when you let a teensy eensy weensy bit get through your lips 'cause i played airplane with the fork???remember how you warmed to the spice like the taste of lowland single malt and a lingering mouthful of guiness??? remember how it warmed you up when you realized you could say something more about those bastards than, 'Rival State Sucks!'? remember that?

well, for the two of you that remember me, i'd like you to know that im back...
and i am here to add the same sort of spice to just about...um...everything.
for the other three of you who are new...
this is my lame ass introduction.

i loved bringing the sport spice because I LOVE SPORT. i am a fan of the game first and then the teams...a fan of play first and then of the players.
that's what allowed me to give you the yummy without compromise... allowed me to see and explain to you why le tour is so damned intriguing...
it's why i could see past the venom and the mean and the nasty and tell you both the weaknesses and the strengths of the opposing team. (it is also why i have never had a losing week betting sports...well, that and i have only ever actually bet on sports three times... and tim ford still owes me $275. i prefer to spend my time on sure bets like roulette and the big wheel).

you see my friends,
whether we are talking booze or berkeley (georges or charles), basketball or botticelli...
the spice doesn't care who is right or who is wrong...
it doesn't care who gets credit.
BUT it sure as hell do care about the argument-not who 'won' the argument- but which argument is better? what argument is best?

the spice is only concerned with two things:
knowledge and wisdom.
now, this can be an unbelievable pain in the ass...
but it can also be sorta helpful...
because the deal is, from what i have seen, even the best and brightest of you have lost your way...
noone seems to care about reasons.
noone seems to demand justification.
people seem to content themselves with opinions (more often than not, not even their own, but one borrowed from some jackass on a sunday morning news show).

you see, opinions are like bowls of oatmeal and white toast covered in skim milk...
they may get you by...
but
they aren't very satisfying,
you can do a hell of a lot better,
and
you sure as hell aren't gonna get laid if you serve one to your date.
opinions are baseless, bland and boring... reasons are where it's at.
and the spice is always where it's at.

that is why the spice has come back from the dead....
that is why the spice has work to do...

all bets are off and all topics need seasoning.
im bringing a dozen cloves of common sense, a cup of reason, a tablespoon of justification, and (depending on the occasion)a dash of evidence (and of course four lbs of mixed metaphor)
because thats what the spice do...
that's how the spice roll...
thats what the spice is all about...
the spice is about providing meaningful support for particular beliefs and pointing out the lack of meaningful support for other beliefs.
it is about recognizing when and why something tastes bland, knowing how to add some yummy to the dish, figuring out where to dump the lot of it when it goes bad and who to tip when it is prepared and served well....

the spice is here because reasons are to beliefs like cumin is to chili...
you may not think you like it...you may not think it is important...hell, you very well may not be able to identify it...BUT go on and make some chili without it? and it'll taste like a bucket of bland...
throw some of that earthy-hot goodness in there and you'll say, 'damn! so that is what that is!?!?! Cumin you say? Hell that's the shit that makes chili, chili!'

and good reasons are what make good beliefs...well...umm...good...
justification is a big part of what turns 'em into knowledge and wisdom...
and that is what the spice is alllll about.

sooooooooooooo...
dinner is served..
and every belief you've got is on the menu...
if you don't have reasons to flavor 'em? don't even worry about it...
just grab a glass of milk in case i burn your tongue
some pepto in case i burn your heart
and a few immodium in case i burn your ass...

because ill always have a pinch or two of goody lying around
and it's all yours
the spice is all yours.